The True Measure of Character.

Kali English MBA BA PsychSc
3 min readMar 6, 2024

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Photo Source: Canva. Photo Contributor: Unknown

In our desire to understand others, we often turn to words. We listen closely to what people say, hoping to gain insight into their thoughts, beliefs, and values. But amidst the noise of conversation, there lies a quieter, yet more profound, source of truth: behaviour. As the old adage goes, actions speak louder than words. Indeed, if you want to know who someone is, watch their behaviours.

Behaviour serves as a mirror reflecting the inner landscape of an individual’s character. It reveals not only what they value but also how they prioritise those values in their daily lives. While words may be crafted and polished, behaviours emerge spontaneously, offering unfiltered glimpses into the essence of a person.

Consider, for instance, the individual who proclaims the importance of family above all else. Their words may echo sentiments of love, loyalty, and devotion to their kin. Yet, upon closer observation, their behaviour tells a different story. Do they make time for family gatherings, prioritise meaningful connections, and offer support in times of need? Or do their actions betray a different set of priorities, such as career advancement or personal pursuits? By watching how they allocate their time and energy, we gain a deeper understanding of what truly matters to them.

Similarly, someone may espouse the value of integrity and honesty. They may speak eloquently about the importance of ethical conduct and moral uprightness. But do their actions align with their words? Do they demonstrate transparency in their dealings, uphold their commitments, and take responsibility for their mistakes? Or do their behaviours hint at a willingness to compromise their principles for personal gain? By observing their behaviour, we can discern whether their professed values are merely lip service or genuine convictions.

Indeed, behaviours serve as signposts guiding us toward a more authentic understanding of others. They reveal not only what individuals value but also how deeply those values resonate within them. A person who values kindness will consistently demonstrate compassion, empathy, and generosity in their actions. Their behavior will reflect a genuine desire to alleviate the suffering of others and spread warmth wherever they go. Conversely, someone who prioritises self-interest may exhibit behaviours driven by ego, competition, and the pursuit of personal gain.

Furthermore, behaviours offer insights into the complexities of human nature, often revealing subconscious desires and motivations. Consider the individual who struggles with self-esteem issues, seeking validation through external measures of success. Their behavior may manifest as excessive striving, perfectionism, or a relentless pursuit of approval. By understanding the underlying motives behind such behaviours, we can cultivate empathy and compassion, recognising that they stem from a place of inner turmoil rather than inherent malice.

Moreover, behaviours provide valuable clues about an individual’s character trajectory — their journey of growth and self-discovery. Just as a tree’s growth rings testify to the passage of time and the seasons it has weathered, so too do behaviours reflect the evolution of a person’s values and priorities over time. By tracing the arc of their actions, we can discern patterns of growth, resilience, and transformation. We may witness moments of triumph and setbacks, moments of clarity and confusion, each contributing to the rich tapestry of their character.

In essence, if you want to know who someone is, watch their behaviours. Pay attention to how they navigate the complexities of everyday life, how they interact with others, and how they choose to spend their time. Look beyond the surface and seek the underlying motives and intentions driving their actions. And above all, approach your observations with curiosity, empathy, and an open heart, recognising that each individual is a multifaceted being shaped by their unique experiences and aspirations.

Ultimately, by embracing the wisdom of observation, we can deepen our connections with others, foster empathy and understanding, and cultivate a more compassionate and inclusive world. For in the tapestry of human existence, it is the threads of behaviour that weave the truest portrait of who we are and what we hold dear.

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Kali English MBA BA PsychSc
Kali English MBA BA PsychSc

Written by Kali English MBA BA PsychSc

Writing about what it is to be Human with a little whimsy, wit and wisdom.

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