Radiate Joy: Keeping the Spark Alive at 80.
Have you ever met someone beaten down by life? Someone who carries the weight of lost hope in their body, their posture sagging with the invisible burden of disappointments and unspoken grief? You see it in their eyes — dimmed by cynicism, dulled by years of feeling unseen and unfulfilled. It’s a heavy thing to witness, the absence of joie de vivre.
Now, have you ever met someone who defies that? Someone who, despite decades of life’s challenges, radiates light and vitality as if they’ve found the secret to never letting the world dim their spirit?
I did, recently. Her name was Margot. She was 80 years old, and from the moment she greeted me, I knew she was different. She had this spark — this unshakable energy that felt almost tangible. Her laughter was contagious, her smile effortless. It wasn’t just her words but the way she carried herself: light but grounded, wise yet playful, vulnerable yet unshaken.
Margot wasn’t untouched by hardship. She’d faced more than her fair share of life’s storms. But somehow, she hadn’t just survived — she thrived. And over the course of our conversation, she shared the secrets that kept her spirit alive, teaching me lessons I’ll carry for the rest of my life.
This is Margot’s story — and her guide to keeping the spark alive, no matter what life throws your way.
Margot radiated joie de vivre so profoundly that she felt like a living embodiment of vitality itself. She wasn’t some fictional anomaly or a character in a movie about defying age — she was real, sitting across from me with eyes that sparkled and a laugh that seemed to come from the depths of her soul. She had wrinkles, sure, and she moved a little slower than she might have decades ago, but her energy was magnetic. She exuded a kind of lightness, a freedom, and an openness that most of us lose long before we hit middle age.
“What’s your secret?” I finally asked her. I couldn’t help myself.
Her smile widened. “Oh, honey, it’s not a secret. It’s a practice.”
That one word — practice — stayed with me. Over the course of our conversation, Margot shared how she had kept her vitality alive through decades of love, loss, challenges, and change. She wasn’t untouched by life’s hardships; she’d experienced grief, disappointment, death, loss, heartbreak, and failure. But she hadn’t let them dim her light. Instead, she had cultivated habits and perspectives that preserved her connection to life. Here’s what I learned from Margot about keeping the spark alive.
1. Feel It All, but Don’t Let It Define You
Margot didn’t shy away from her emotions. She talked about the loss of her lover with tears in her eyes but also with a kind of grace that felt profound.
“I cried every day for a year,” she said. “But I let the grief move through me, not bury me. When you feel it, you can release it. When you bury it, it stays stuck.”
She told me that staying alive — truly alive — means allowing yourself to feel everything, even the hard stuff. “Don’t be afraid of your sadness or anger. Just don’t pitch a tent and live there,” she advised with a chuckle. She also talked about another man that she loved profoundly but couldn’t be with and the beautiful love that they still shared at 80!
2. Stay Curious
Margot’s curiosity was insatiable. She still read voraciously, she travelled internationally every year, and was always eager to learn something new. When I asked her about the last book she read, her face lit up. She told me it was a novel by a debut author, and then she veered off into a conversation about how much she loved discovering fresh perspectives.
“Curiosity keeps you engaged with life,” she said. “When you stop wondering, you start shrinking.”
Margot made it a point to try new things regularly. “Even if it’s just a new recipe or a different route on my walk, it keeps me open to the world.”
3. Nurture Your Relationships
Margot’s life was filled with people who loved her — and not just family. She had friends of all ages, from lifelong companions to younger neighbours she’d befriended over the years. She talked about how relationships sustained her, but she was also clear about setting boundaries.
“Love people deeply, but don’t let them drain you,” she said. “I learned long ago that you can’t pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself first.”
Margot made it a point to invest in meaningful connections. She wrote letters, hosted dinners, and stayed connected, even in the age of texts and social media. “The effort you put into relationships comes back to you tenfold,” she said.
4. Choose Joy, Every Day
One of the most striking things about Margot was her ability to find joy in the simplest moments. She described her morning routine — waking up, making a cup of tea, going back to bed with it and her dog, and sitting by her window to watch the birds.
“It’s nothing fancy, but it fills my heart,” she said. “Joy isn’t in the big things. It’s in noticing the little things.”
Margot also made laughter a priority. “I laugh every single day,” she said. “Life is too short to take yourself so seriously. Find something that makes you laugh — if you can’t find it, make it.”
5. Forgive, Let Go, and Move On
When I asked her how she managed to keep such a light heart, Margot leaned in, as if sharing a great secret. “Forgiveness,” she said. “You can’t carry bitterness around and expect to feel free. It weighs you down.”
Margot didn’t just forgive others; she forgave herself. “I’ve made plenty of mistakes,” she admitted. “But I don’t hold them against myself. Life’s too short for that kind of nonsense.”
She also emphasised the importance of letting go of what you can’t control. “Some things just aren’t worth holding onto. You’ve got to know when to release them.”
6. Stay Connected to Your Body
Margot still walked every day. She practiced gentle yoga and even tried tai chi when she had the chance, and had recently surrendered her licence and was glad that it was making her walk a lot more. “Your body is your home,” she said. “If you neglect it, it’ll fall apart. If you take care of it, it’ll carry you through.”
Her approach wasn’t about being perfect or rigid. “I enjoy my wine and chocolate, but I also eat my veggies and drink my water,” she said with a grin. “It’s about balance, not deprivation.”
7. Live Aligned with Your Values
Margot talked a lot about living authentically. She’d spent her younger years trying to please everyone else, but as she aged, she learned to prioritise her own values.
“Know what matters to you,” she said. “And don’t apologise for living by it. When you’re aligned with your values, life feels lighter.”
She described how she’d left a high powered role as a CEO in her 50s because it didn’t align with her purpose. “Best decision I ever made,” she said. “The money wasn’t worth losing myself over.”
8. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude was a cornerstone of Margot’s outlook. She kept a gratitude journal, jotting down three things she was grateful for every night before bed.
“Gratitude shifts your focus,” she explained. “It reminds you that even on the hardest days, there’s still beauty to be found.”
She also made a point to express her gratitude to others. “Show and tell people what they mean to you,” she said. “It makes them feel good, and it makes you feel good too.”
9. Embrace Vulnerability
Margot didn’t shy away from being vulnerable. She spoke openly about her fears, her struggles, and her dreams. “Vulnerability is what makes us human,” she said. “It’s how we connect with each other.”
She believed that hiding behind a façade only isolated people. “The more you open up, the more you realise we’re all in this together.”
10. Choose Hope
Finally, Margot talked about the importance of hope. “Hope isn’t just something you have; it’s something you choose,” she said. “Even when life knocks you down, you can choose to believe in better days ahead.”
She described hope as an anchor, something that kept her steady through the storms of life. “Hope doesn’t mean you ignore the hard stuff,” she said. “It means you believe you can get through it.”
A Life Well-Lived
As our conversation ended, Margot left me with one final piece of wisdom: “Life is short, but it’s also long enough to make it beautiful. Don’t waste it being bitter or afraid. Fill it with love, curiosity, and joy. That’s how you keep the spark alive.”
Meeting Margot changed something in me. She wasn’t extraordinary because she hadn’t faced challenges; she was extraordinary because she’d faced them and still chosen vitality. Her life was a testament to the fact that we don’t just stumble upon joie de vivre — we create it.
Margot’s wisdom is a roadmap for all of us: stay open, stay curious, and never stop choosing life.
